| Jun. 13th, 2009 @ 08:09 pm "Good luck with getting those panties pristine!" -- Unnamed roommate |
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Current Mood:  cheerful
Today we had a ward activity. The theme? Redneck Olympics.
Everyone turned out in their best hick attire: some people drew on mustaches and unibrows, one woman was "pregnant," and plaid shirts and dirty wifebeaters abounded. As for myself, I ripped some holes in an old pair of jeans and transformed my "I want to date Mr. DT" shirt from freshman year into a "I want to date my cousin" shirt.
It was classy.
The highlight of the afternoon was playing mud dodgeball and tug-o-war in the mud, which quickly turned into mudslinging. (Ha, ha!) I joined in the merriment, throwing dirt clods and splashing muddy water on those in attendance. After beaning one gentlehick squarely from behind, he turned around, and all of a sudden we were grappling with each other in the mud. He, being quite a bit taller and stronger than I, quickly threw me down and I fell flat on my back with what I'm told was an impressive splash.
This started a whole slew of mud wrestling, and pretty soon most of the participants were indistinguishable from each other. Everyone was coated in a delightfully gloppy layer of mud. Everyone, except a few choice individuals.
One person yelled out "Pete's still clean!" This Pete character was standing quite close to where I was, so I hunkered down, raced toward him (which was more like a quick lumber, seeing as how I was standing in a mud pit), threw my arms around him, and forced him to the ground.
And the crowd went wild! . . . Relatively speaking. (I did end up winning a roll of toilet paper during the Redneck Awards Ceremony, however, for that little deed. It was pretty sweet.)
So while I survived the mud wrestling, my pants definitely did not. At some point during the mud frolicking, a scandalously long rip appeared in a most unfortunate location. I have no idea how long it was there before I noticed. Yikes.
To make a long story somewhat shorter, I managed to successfully change my clothes, although that did entail awkwardly standing in a bathroom wondering how I would clean up the mud puddle that mysteriously gushed forth onto the floor as soon as I took off my pants (TMI?) and then being subsequently relieved to find a full roll of paper towels in the bathroom with which I was able to (mostly) clean up said mess.
The festivities continued on for a little while longer. Hot dogs and s'mores were roasted and consumed. A pie eating contest brought joy to all. A live, wriggling worm was swallowed out of one's own free will. Somebody licked another person's eyeball. And on the drive home, men stripped off their pants and rode wrapped in nothing but a towel.
It was good times for all. |
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